Contributing Factors July 15, 2009
Posted by AtomW in Uncategorized.Tags: BA, blogging, brad pitt, crisis, edward norton, English, english lit, fiction, fight club, Literature, mid life crisis, midmidlife crisis, non fiction, reasons why i hate girls, screenplays, sex, the beach, website, writing
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I wrote my senior thesis on the concept of the contemporary male and his struggle to define himself, as well as his masculinity, in this modern world. Naturally, I had to use Fight Club as my main reference point. Applicable? Heck yeah. Trendy/cliche? You bet! But the idea of it is basically without a great war, without socio-economic labels, without sexual conquests, how do we define our contributions to the world?
I recently applied to the Disney/ABC Television Writing Fellowship, and came across one of those horrible/defining questions. Why do I want to be a writer? I answered that question with a very simple, albeit full of alliteration, sentence. I know I’m not going to save the world with quick quips and witticism, but entertaining people is important to me. I really, truly believe this. I’m not going to write the great American novel. I’m not going to write Citizen Kane, but I’m really starting to get behind the idea that maybe writing is why I was put on this earth.
Sure, it gets discouraging to hear that by 24, F. Scott already wrote This Side of Paradise. I have actually written a novel already, but it isn’t something I would want anybody to see. I have two extremely strong scripts already written, and I feel as if my writing is only going to get better. I can’t really explain it, but I have the weird feeling in my bones that I’m going to make it as a writer. Even though my greatest contribution to the world, by sheer volume and audience, is a website. Yes, I refer to it as a website due to the slightly condescending implication from the word blog. But it’s a website, a website about why I hate girls. It borders on whiney, but it’s also funny, thoughtful, and something I have spent a great deal of effort on. Whether I am spazzing over what to post, harassing my friends to tell people, or re-tweaking posts that didn’t work, I have spent many, many hours of my life on this little website. I even toy with the idea of pitching it as a non-fiction book. Of course I never wanted to be a non-fiction writer, but here I am with two non-fiction websites. I just hold out blind optimism that the world is going to see more from me.
The Target Demographic June 3, 2009
Posted by AtomW in Uncategorized.Tags: American Dad, demographics, Family Guy, love, media, Mid mid life crisis, movies, music, sex, Simpsons, target demo, television
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18-24 year olds.
For a six year stretch there, I was exactly the key demographic when it came to film & television. I was apparently who these things were being marketed & written to. The only thing is, I’ve never really been fit into that demographic. Sure, I appreciate dumb guy humor from time to time, but I wasn’t rushing out to see the latest Will Farrell movie. I can’t tell you how many times I have been forced to watch Old School by guys/gals who think it’s hysterical. I don’t know if something switched off in my brain on my 25th birthday, but the capping of that age-range was ridiculously on the mark for me.
I realized my lack of interest in the average guy stuff from something very specific. Family Guy. When I was in college, my roommates and I would bond over watching the Futurama/Family Guy block on Adult Swim on a nightly basis. This was back in the good ol’ Family Guy was cancelled days. I thought it was great, funny, and awesome. Of course I thought the same of Futurama but there is a stark difference between Futurama (And this even applies more to the Simpsons) and Family Guy. One gets better with age, and the other gets worse.
As I’ve gotten older, I can watch those classic Simpsons episodes on an entirely different level. There is a reverence for childhood memories, but I can also catch the deeper, more layered comedy in it. I catch movie references, more adult-oriented jokes, satire, and I can still sit there and appreciate the retarded jokes that bring a smile to your face. As a grade-schooler I would laugh at the wacky stuff Homer was doing, and now I laugh at the brilliant movie scene parodies.
Family Guy, on the other hand, is becoming something I will never seek out to watch. I’ll catch it when it’s on, but, like a Summer blockbuster, or a catchy pop tune, it’s not something that I will go out of my way to try and enjoy. I think as we get older we seek out the complex, the layered, the things with depth. In your twenties life-and-death doesn’t rely on the cute girl battering her eyes at you. Yeah, sure I can listen to those pop-punk songs about girls breaking hearts, but it’s in a different light. This applies to all mediums. Yeah, I can watch an episode of Family Guy and appreciate it on it on the basic level, but it really isn’t something of substance that I’ll remember the next day.
Plus/Minus One May 19, 2009
Posted by AtomW in Uncategorized.Tags: crisis, dating, love, Mid mid life crisis, quarter life crisis, sex, sexual encounters, weddings
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I went to one of my best friends’ wedding this weekend. Heres a fun fact to note when you go to a wedding. If you are amidst a sea of couples, whether they be engaged, seriously dating, or married, you are in an interesting spot as the single friend. It isn’t uncommon practice to bring a date, or a “plus one” to a wedding.
Being the one single person at a table is a weird, awkward thing. But even weirder is when you are a single person there with a date that isn’t your girlfriend. You see, this is because couples think coupley. It might just be nosiness, curiosity, or just a desire to see a ring on every single lady’s finger, but they will immediately probe you about the scenario. Any individual I came across would ask me the deal with me and my date was. They went through the barrage of labels: Are you friends? Dating? Casually hooking up? Wanting to hook up? Etc, Etc. And they don’t just want to know the labels, they want to know the play by play the next morning. So as awkward as people asking you what you want to happen with your plus one is, it’s even weirder when five or six people ask you, not subtly mind you, the events that transpire.
12 hours before I left for the wedding, my car got stuck in mud and I couldn’t help but think how not-subtle that was for a metaphor for how must people see me as a 25 year old with no serious relationship commitment in sight. I start to wonder if people see me as if I’m stuck in the mud. Growing up, I was always the guy who assumed he’d be married by 25. And at 21, I had the relationship, the dreams, but not the money. And that is what stopped me. The relationship fell apart. Was I crushed? Sure, but I’m also extremely grateful that I never had the cash for the ring. I have to figure out my life, before I can figure out my life with somebody else, and I don’t want to just marry the first girl who can tolerate my crap for longer than normal.
Old Man Habbits May 5, 2009
Posted by AtomW in Uncategorized.Tags: bourbon, fiction, Mid mid life crisis, old man, reasons why i hate girls, scotch, writing
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I don’t know when, why, or how it happened, but somewhere along the lines I developed my share of old man habits. Things that I probably am way too young to care about or do, but can’t help myself. I do the crossword everyday, I drink scotch and bourbon and Manhattans, I have a fanatical interest in the care of my lawn. The lawn one might be the worst. My grumbles at the inevitable weekly chore turned into indifference into a weird sort of pride and joy over it. I view it as a calming, relaxing, zen-like activity. I get annoyed and battle crab grass…it’s a whole thing.
So I’m left to wonder if there’s a switch in my brain that flicks on at a certain age. Where the idea of doing a crossword in the morning with my coffee is a nice way to wake my brain up. In my defense, the brain is a muscle that you have to constantly use, and as a fledgling writer, it helps to read, write, and use my brain as much as possible. But there is just something inside of me that has been growing and accumulating these old man traits, that I’m left to wonder if it’s only an uphill battle until I yell at kid’s to get off my lawn.
Drinking In Your 20s May 1, 2009
Posted by AtomW in Uncategorized.Tags: bar scene, bourbon, college, drinking, knob creek, makers, midmid life crisis, reasons why i hate girls, whiskey
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Everybody remembers their first brush with booze. Swiping it from your parent’s liquor cabinet, or at a friend’s house where you drink whatever you can get your hands on. You aren’t picky, and you make yourself the grossest concoctions. The cheap college days are much like this. These are the days when Bud Light is considered on the higher ends of beers. You go for the cheap, cheap stuff. Why? Because it does the trick, and you are broke. Milwaukee’s Best and PBR become your new friends.
It’s less common to do 40s when in your 20s, you tend to have a few standard good tasting beers that you go out and order. Sure, you still preserve money, but it’s less about going out and getting drunk, as it is going out and relaxing with a beer. Somehow the charm of bars finally begins to dim until you just go to a bar and get a drink with your friends, because it’s a nice way to go out, relax, and hang out. You start ordering more than just the cheap stuff. I was once told by a bartender that if a kid never wanted to get carded, he should always order something complex. Somebody walking in and ordering a Bombay, In-and-Out Martini, on the rocks isn’t going to be as easily suspected as some kid ordering a Bud. Fun fact: the first time I ever ordered a Manhattan I was laughed at, presumably because it’s such an old man drink.
Nowadays I find a bottle of bourbon (Makers or Knob Creek) permanently in my fridge. Sure, it’s a nice sign of the onset of alcoholism, but I also like to just pour a nice cold glass, grab a book, put on some music, and just enjoy reading. It’s also nice to have a nice small glass of bourbon while watching old syndicated Tv before you hit the hay.
A BS B.A. April 30, 2009
Posted by AtomW in Uncategorized.Tags: BA, dating, English, liberal arts, life, Literature, Macmillion, mid life crisis, Mid mid life crisis, Penguin Publishing, publishing, Publishing companies, publishing industry, quarter life crisis, Random House, relationships, sex
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Some cloudy, life-damnig day when I was 10, I got it into my head that I wanted to be a writer. I used to want to be a comedian, now I just wanted to write. But, the thing of it is, I didn’t actually take a stab at seriously writing anything until the age of 18. I turned 18, and in the summer before college went from being a budding Communications major, to an aspiring English major. I wrote this God-awful Young Adult book, with thinly veiled references to my life, pop-punk references left and right, and tons of stuff I’m embarrassed to even look at at this point.
Despite the warning of essentially everybody in my life, I entered and kept with the idea of getting a Bachelors in the Liberal Arts. They told me I’d never get a good paying job, that it was tough to make it in the field, but I didn’t listen because I was cocky. At 18, I knew how things would look by the age of 25. I would be working as an Editor, I’d be writing on the side, I’d have my own place, maybe a serious, long-term relationship, I’d be on my own and I’d be golden.
Graduating from college was a harsh slap of reality. I quickly found out how impossible it is to break into publishing, and how I was a dime a dozen. But I was going to stick it out, because I couldn’t handle another two years of school for a Masters. I got odd jobs waiting tables, doing this and that, and started writing seriously on the side. I graduated (or maybe just sidetracked myself) from prose to screenplays, and haven’t really looked back since.
Even before the economy and downfall of American Living and blah blah blah, I knew that my degree wasn’t exactly worth the paper it was printed on. I can dissect Faulkner and Fitzgerald with the best of ‘em, but it’s not entirely getting me anywhere. I’m three years out of college, and still doing the odd jobs, the aspiring writer thing, and busting my ass trying to make it into the world of publishing. I’ve had internships and temp jobs and freelance gigs, and they are all build my resume, but I haven’t had that golden opportunity to really break into the industry. Most people take the English degree and go to teach, apparently I’m just that much of a non-conformist.
At 25 I realized how different 25 is from the wide-eyed pipe dreams, but I struggle, and I keep plugging away. At a publishing job, at building up my writing portfolio for an agent, at anything I can get to be that tricky word that eludes most people: successful.
